Review of life

DSCN0553In the revelationary book ‘A year to live’, Stephen Levine writes about ‘how to live this year as if it were your last’. One of the techniques he recommends is to review your past and your life thus far. To see the achievements and disappointments through soft eyes and a forgiving heart. To reflect on the misfortunes, learn from them and be grateful for them. It is a process of looking back in order to move forward in a different and more present state.

It is interesting how you sometimes have a thought of something you need to do at the back of your mind but you keep on ignoring it. Until life brings something to your attention and you know you can’t ignore it anymore. This is how it was with the idea about looking back and writing about my life. It has been an idea that kept on surfacing in my mind. When I read about the life review technique in Stephen’s book I realised that 2016 is the year that I need to do it.

I’m turning 35 at the end of the year. I decided to use the blog space to write about my learnings. The lessons that life have taught me thus far. I know it is not always going to be easy to reflect on the shadow side of my life. Especially when one starts to examine the emotional attachment to it and the effect it has on my life at the moment. But I know this is something I need to do. I trust that it will be a gateway into something beyond my wildest expectations. I’m looking forward to sharing it with you.

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To be seen

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Have you ever looked at someone with your whole body instead of just your brain?

I’m not sure if you noticed but we tend to look at others with our brain. We conditionally or unconditionally determine how we see others or the situation. Instead of just allowing ourselves to look at the situation and see if for what it is. Not for how we think it should be or how we want it to be. We make it personal and look at it with a greedy eye, judgemental eye or inferior eye, etc.

A week ago I did a ‘gazing’ exercise with people I’ve never met before. How the exercise works is that for about 5 minutes you sit in pairs and look into each other’s eyes without saying a word. It is not the same as the game kids play when they look at each other and see who is the first to look away. The purpose of this exercise is to learn how to really see each other.

I experienced how one can see others by utilising ones whole body. I saw the fire of courage burning behind their eyes. I sensed how my heart opened as I saw their loving-kindness. I felt their pain in my chest knowing that I can’t fix it but I can hold it for them by seeing it. I experienced a tingling in my hands as I saw the gifts that they bring to the world. I felt my tummy turning with joy as I saw their unmeasured potential. As I saw them I came home to myself. After the ‘gazing’ exercise it felt as if we knew each other. There was no longer a need for words.

John O’Donohue writes about gazing in his book ‘Anam Cara’, ‘to gaze into the face of the other is to gaze into the depth and entirety of their life…when you really gaze at something, you bring it inside you.’ He later continues and states that ‘vision is central to ones presence and creativity. To recognise how you see things can bring you self-knowledge and enable you to glimpse the treasures your life secretly holds’.

I want to encourage you to give yourself the gift of looking lovingly upon yourself. Give others the gift of looking at them with your whole body. Let them be seen. Let them feel seen. You may never see them again.

Rest in the knowing that each gaze is a homecoming to your true nature.

I am a river

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I want to share something close to my heart with you. This past week I was at a professional coaching course. I worked with coaches to develop my new narrative for this year (you can read more about narratives on my previous blog ‘What’s your story’). This poem is my first breath of growing into my new narrative of ‘ being a river of love and language in the world’.

I am a river

I am dry

You are a river

I am flowing

You are a river

I am rocky

You are a river

I am murky

You are a river

I am a whirlpool

You are a river

I am not always the same

You are a river

I am different drops of rain

You are a river

I am a stream

You are a river

I am a strong current

You are a river

I am a rapid

You are a river

I am a pool

You are a river

I am penetrating the earth

You are a river

I am absorbing the air

You are a river

I was, I am, I want to be

You are a river

 

I am seeing all my parts

I am a river

 

I come from the Source

I am on my course

When I allowed all of me to be

I will become one with the Sea.