What will be the best choice? What is the right thing to do in this situation?
Our daily lives are filled with choices some important and others not so important. Lately I’ve been reflecting on how my choices, and the choices others made for me, have formed my life. Sheena Iygar wrote in her book ‘The art of choosing’ that our lives are shaped by the choices we make. ‘We make choices and are in turn made by them’.
The first time I became aware of decision-making was when I was about 6-years old. My parents had to decide if they are going to enrol me in Primary school at the age of six or seven. This is usually a big decision for children (like myself) that are born in December because our academic year starts in January. I remember that I had to undergo numerous tests to see if I was cognitively, emotionally and physically ready for school. We gathered as much information as possible to ensure that we made the right choice. At the end I did go to school at six and whether it was the best choice or the right choice one will never know.
I once had a discussion with a very wise person about the choices I made and regrets I had about some of the (not so good) decisions I made in the past. She reminded me that we all (including our parents, friends and family) make the best choices we can given the information available to us at that moment in time. In hindsight (even if it is 5-minutes after we made the decision) it is always easy to think that we should have chosen something else. But at that point in time within the specific circumstances you chose what you thought was the best. Reflecting about my choices of the past from this point of view really helped me to let go of some regrets. I know that my parents tried to do what was best for me when they choose at what age to enrol me at school. I don’t regret their choice.
Learning: We make the best choice we can given the circumstances and information available to us at that stage.
Healing question: How can I be kinder and let go of the regret for the decisions I made in the past?